Days of Mirth

Days of drizzle and a sudden warmth

And some laughter mixed with traffic sounds

Bare feet on a wooden floor

and some wine and wine and more wine after that

And the floor it squeaked like a distant cry

and the water drops they hummed

and the night was dark with reflection on the walls

For the warmth of mirth has just crawled back

contemplating love poetry blog



Letters to Writers – On Love and Dependence (Ernest Hemingway)


, , , ,

“Why, darling, I don’t live at all when I’m not with you.” ― Ernest Hemingway

Dear, Mr. Hemingway

I have no idea which of your characters said that but I have lived that reality. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Paid with my soul.
Heart cracks may not heal, but they let sunlight in, don’t they?


It’s Complicated…An Honest Look at Valentine’s Day


Today is Valentine’s Day and as this is a blog that contemplates love (mostly) I kinda, sorta, shoulda blog about Valentine’s Day. I wonder what my friends will be doing…those who are in long-term relationships and those who are single. Will they spend the day in a special way?

Personally, I am not sure how I’ll spend the day. I need to get out of the house during the day for sure. So I will head downtown to run some errands and in the meantime I might take a few photos of old town. Just to capture the beauty of the day. Yes, I think I will do that.

I do not feel lonely today because I don’t have a strong connection with this day. As I mentioned in my previous post, Valentine’s Day is just one of those days…when I get to choose how I will feel about it. However, I do wish at least one person could say: Happy Valentine’s. You know, just for the sake of it.

In the meantime, enjoy these quirky and original Valentine cards from Lost Marbles.


Valentine’s Day – Never Quite There


, , ,

valentine's day contemplating love blog

For those of you who keep up with this blog (I am a terrible blogger I admit that), it has become clear that I am a romantic soul deep down and I get all mushy and stuff…when the situation is right. But perhaps few of you know that I have never had a proper Valentine’s day…on the actual day. Therefore, my relationship with this…celebration of love…is quite a complicated one.

I will explain why. See the thing is I do not care whether I get to spend a special Valentine’s day or not, but society is constantly reminding me I should care. You see I have had dozens of Valentine’s days…just not on the 14th of February. As a result I cannot help but pity the couples who get to be romantic once a year…like properly romantic, with all of the expected props: chocolates, wine, flowers, candles, etc.

A year ago I wrote about Valentine’s day and its meaning to me. I don’t think my view has changed. However, I do feel a bit weird that despite all my attempts at love I am yet again…on my own. If I have one speciality it is to be dumped by my boyfriends. Ha ha. No seriously, it’s very funny.

I suppose the only way not to be dumped is to remain single, for as long as possible and not commit to anyone. And not care about Valentine’s day. I am really tired at being left. Really really tired.

5 years ago

Today is a special day. On this day 5 years ago I made the most important step in my life (and bravest) up to this day. I flew to England to have an exchange semester at uni. From that day on a lot changed in my life. Mostly, me. My mindset, my plans, my perception of life, people and me.

I met a person who made me forget all others and made me forget the guy I was with. This person has been the most important human being in my life for the past 5 years. When I look back I see happiness, laughter, admiration, support, growth, dreams, plans, anticipation…But I also see guilt, loneliness, sadness, blame, anger, depression. 

I don’t know what the future holds for me…or him. But I hope I never regret meeting him and taking that step 5 years ago.

Sadden Me Softly

Any way you say it it’s still going to pain me

And I don’t know why

and I don’t know


but the sadness crept in slowly

and I felt the urge to scream and I felt

the tears waiting on the corners of my eyes

but I did not let them fall

I’d never let them fall

this isn’t me anymore

not this pain, not this sadness

I am whole


strong and weak

and past and present

I am softness and ice and

blood and heart

and you cannot reach me

only sadness can

sadness blog contemplating love

Ode to My Sin


, , , ,

contemplating love blogI never knew what exactly you tried to fix in me

but it worked

And I changed and my world collapsed and you rebuilt it again and again

for me, for me only, for you loved me

With the fire and the passion of a mad man

You didn’t care if you were going to be part of it

You only wanted to save me

and you did

So I chose you

over every reason and over every virtue

because what changes your life

stays within you

A sin against all reason

and a sin against all truth

but not a sin against the heart.

My Blog in Review (2013)

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.