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Have you read this post on how to piss off a girl? It’s pretty easy, right? However, I did promise you some useful tips for successful manoeuvring, i.e. how to tip toe on thin ice and don’t fall victim to that special girl’s moodiness.

If you have forgotten to text her back or you just weren’t feeling it at the time, you can still pretty much save your ass with a grand gesture. They always work. Text her something sweet (copy pasted poetry would do too), give her flowers or tell her she is really beautiful. Problem solved.

So you haven’t been listening to her and she is starting to get mad at you? Easiest way to calm her down is to shut her up with a long kiss. Hold her tight and don’t let her go. It will catch her by surprise.

You’ve hinted she is a little chubby. There is a quick way out of it. Look her in the eyes, try your most honest voice ever and tell her: “Frankly, I love your curves. You are a real woman – sexy, feminine and seducing. But if you want to be skinnier, I will understand, if that is how you will feel better.” She will love you forever, seriously.

Have you said one of her friends is hot on the spur of the moment and now she is mad? Tell her that her friend is only hot because she is copying her. That’s right – style, gestures, it’s what best friends do. And she can never be as hot as your girl. Make it believable, for God’s sake.

Oooh, you’ve mentioned the ex. Dreaded territory. The only fair way out of it is to tell her you only meant it as objective criticism, because you really want to connect with her. To prove it, ask for something her ex used to be really good at that you need to work on. Sorry, dude, you digged your own grave, at least try to climb out of it with some dignity.

It doesn’t really matter which bad word you used to describe her cooking. It’s ungrateful and mean. Not sure there is any hope for you. Perhaps cook for her for months to redeem your sin.

So you want more than one bro night a week? Risky. However, not impossible, but you’ve got to play it well. Tell her you don’t need a break from her, but from work/school/whatever it is that’s stressing you out and you don’t want to take it out on her. You prefer to let the steam off with them and complain about it, so then she can enjoy your company to the fullest. Promise her a full weekend of fun if she is okay with it. Favour for favour.

So you don’t want to talk about your feelings with her. Well, there are a few ways around it. The first is to ask her multiple questions about her, so she keeps talking. Another way is to stay active and avoid situations when you are lying down, it’s quiet and she starts interrogating you. The best way is to be straight forward honest, but kind. If she asks, simply say: “There is nothing to talk about, babe, I am happy/content/satisfied/feeling great/so lucky/so grateful you are with me, etc.”

Hope these little tricks will help you out. If they don’t, then you should stay single forever because you suck! (just kidding)